And then…

It’s hard to believe there are just five weeks left before the end of this year’s apprenticeship. As we look forward, and begin to answer questions of what’s next, focus on finishing well here, transition out of the ministries we’ve become involved in and the like we are all experiencing and processing things a bit differently.

I think my favorite thing about this time is that as we discuss what next year holds for each of us we are all doing something amazing. A few may be getting married, or going back to school, or joining the mission field, or having a baby! I’ve come to realize during our last posture [Imagining] that this apprenticeship truly is an on-ramp to what God is calling each of us too.

Mixed emotions that include the sadness of pending good-byes and excitement of experiencing God’s intended plan for us hum and throb throughout our community. At nearly all times of the day one of us can be found withdrawing, another engaging, one crying, another laughing. I believe we actually might be living up to the drama of the way people try to explain us back home. “It’s like a Christian version of ‘Real World*’,” said one of our road trip participants.

[*That would be without the fighting and/or inappropriate relationships!]

I very much look forward to the next five weeks. We’ll be handing off our ministry responsibilities to partners [luckily I have been working with either full time missionaries or South African residents!]

We’ll be having a host of “Goodbye” celebrations. We’ll be creating art that reflects what God has done in us over the past year. I think my favorite thing is that not one of us hasn’t been changed completely this year.

We’ve all been opened up, the yuckiness that held us back from living as God intended has been poured, pushed, and picked out, and we’ve been filled with the Holy Spirit.

It’s been an amazing journey so far, and I’m looking forward to running the race to the end.

Melanie’s Psalm

Several weeks ago I did a personal spiritual retreat. The goal of which was just to cuddle up with God and not worry about all the cool ways he’s been transforming me, but to just enjoy each other.

I spent the first evening journalling about my past year, and praising God for what he had already done.

After I finished I realized it sounded like something a Psalmist would write… so I edited it a bit to make it more Psalmish…

I learned lessons of you, that You never taught

Contentment became long suffering misery

Obedience became denial of anything I was

In Your name I sacrificed myself

You grieved

You waited

You carefully picked up the pieces of Your creation, the pieces I had cast off

You saved them for me

Many years, a broken heart, and heavy baggage later, I sat in a coffee shop

My dreams were in view, and yet I experienced crushing anxiety

Anxiety that caused an inability to eat, and eventually an inability to breathe or walk normally

You were there

I would not let you in

So you came in the arms of my mother, the voice of my father, two weeks off of work, and the generosity of friends

And at just the right time, you brought me here

You are so good God, so patient, and understanding

You gave me the freedom to be honest, and people to be honest with

I was loved through them, because I could not recognize love from You

In Your grace and gentleness, you drew me out

With no harsh rebuke You opened my eyes to the errors of my thoughts

You revealed Your love to

and it was Good

Thank you God… love you.

The Ministry of Presence

In America we are so used to “doing” something. In fact if we are not doing something we are wasting time, we are wasting resources… and perhaps we are also lazy. This idea gets turned on its head here in Africa. You see, after spending time at the Amahoro Africa Conference this past week I realize that as a white missionary… I’ve taken quite enough power away from these beautiful people. You can hear a talk given by Edward Simiyu here, at my friend Roger’s blog. It’s called “The Ministry of presence.”

You see, in Africa it’s actually quite important for the people of this continent to see us here, to know us and to be known by us. In Africa, you don’t rush off to appointments, you linger over tea, getting to know one another, being present with one another. Rather than coming and implementing program after program we should elect instead to engage in the ministry of presence. Only by spending time with and listening to people here, i.e., blacks and coloureds [yes Americans, that is the proper term in SA for mixed race persons] can we empower them to believe in themselves, to innovate solutions, to value their own opinions. They have been taught by our actions that white people’s ideas have intrinsic value, and if white people share their opinions for growth and change it shuts down what they might otherwise have to offer.

So let us in Africa engage in the ministry of presence… let’s stand with our brothers and sisters in Africa, encouraging them in their wisdom, their strength, their abilities. Let’s show them we care by being here, with them, hand in hand.

“Lazarus Come Forth!” — Biblical Teaching Games, with Pangani Kids.

So, we were teaching about Lazarus, and needed some Lazari

Lazarus #1

Lazarus #2

Lazarus #3

Arthur explains to Keziah exactly what's happening here... she's unsure how she feels about it.

Two done...

Three little Lazari!

Arthur Paul is now an actual mummified Lazarus...

Welcome back, and welcome here…

If you read this blog you may be wondering… I’m sure a new apprentice group is in… I’m sure they are fantastic, why have I not heard of them until now? Well, after a slow blogging start, now is the time. Please welcome NSCA class of 2009. [Musically, you may wish to play "Pomp & Circumstance" or "Get Ready to Rumble."]

I may as well introduce my cohorts [fellow apprentices ] to you, they are amazing people.

NCSA 2009 Apprentices

Upper Row: Adrienne, Johannes, Chris, Tony

Lower Row: Melanie, Colletta, Busi, Curtis

Adrienne: The beautiful child of the world [well, mostly western hemisphere.] She comes to us directly from spending over a year serving street kids in Colombia. She’s fluent in Spanish, my gym buddy, and one of the funniest/craziest girls I’ve met. You wouldn’t know it until you get to know her a bit though. Plus I think she drinks more tea than all of Britain, and she’s got fantastic hair. Because she’s grown up all over the place she has a very unique cultural perspective, though she’s technically “American” and has the southern accent to go with it, she brings diversity to our group in many unexpected ways and I’m constantly learning from her. Oh, and if you spend longer than 45 minutes with her you will also learn about her other half, Ryan, who though not here, may as well be. We all feel like we know him.

Busi: From Zimbabwe, but lived in England for most of her twenties. She’s our resident singer/dancer, and she’ll make up songs on the spot. The girl is full of joy and shares it with everyone around her. Busi and Adrienne are roommates, they are the two late sleeping girls. Busi has been our “head girl” here at Pangani because she knows how everything around her works, thankfully she’s been very patient with teaching us how it works. She also keeps us educated on what it’s like to be Zimbabwean, the social and political ramifications. If you have any musical contacts, real or imaginary, and would like to be her manager, give her a buzz, the answer will be yes, but just so you know she has quite high expectations in this area.

Chris: Having just graduated with his Master’s from Talbot [the seminary at Biola in SoCal,] Chris brings a depth to our spiritual formation conversations that would not be there without him. He’s contemplative and out of his contemplation comes many good things for all of us to think about and consider. He spent several weeks here last summer, and it’s interesting to see his vision for future ministry as he engages here with us this year. Out of all of us I think he has the clearest idea of why he’s here and what he’s hoping to do next, which is very encouraging. His hip-hop name is Mix Master K, and we are pretty convinced that in another life Chris probably would have been a rapper, and worn a lot of bling.

Colletta: My roommate for the year. Colletta is fascinating. She comes from a mixed race family and has a degree in Gender, Ethnicity, and Multicultural Studies. She’s an extrovert, loves to dance, enjoys musical worship, and is very deep. Some of the best conversations I’ve had here include her. Because of her life experience as a mixed race person and her studies she has a lot of insight on what it means to be culturally diverse. She has a lot to teach on the concept of celebrating diversity. She very artistic, an excellent painter, a good singer, a great dancer, she’s even a basketweaver. Plus she always wants to cook with me. She’s keeping us in Mexican food here in Africa. Which she shipped to herself. You just never know when you are going to need tortillas and salsa.

Curtis: Our English South African, he just graduated seminary here and has a quiet depth that I do not have, and wish I did. He is open minded, he is informed, he is genuine, he doesn’t push. From someone so young it is amazing to see the way he interacts with life. He educates us on the political goings on of this country, he tells us about race relations, and reconciliation. He has compassion for and understanding of all the people groups here in SA. Never have I heard something judgmental from him, he always seeks understanding, finding ways to build together rather than to split apart. He’s our other apprentice in puppy love and as I type these words he’s out making googly eyes at his lady and walking around holding hands.

Johannes: My Brother from another Mother. He grew up in Soshanguve and is probably experiencing more culture shock living with us in the short time we’ve been here than we have experienced so far. This guy is one of the most inspiring people here in my opinion, my roommate described his prayers as, “a soft letter to God.” He is passionate in his prayers, and in his faith. This man was born a pastor. He loves life, and laughter. He has an indomitable spirit. He’s also quite the jokester. He taught me some important street signs… [which you see us flashing in the picture above.] He loves it when I cook for him, but has informed me that I can stop making muffins… he’s not so much a fan of those. I love him and I’m so glad he’s with us this year.

Melanie: I can’t write one for myself it feels weird.

Tony: The Pot-Stirrer. Tony is awesome, one of the most interesting people here. His heart for people is huge. He cares about his friends, family, wife, strangers, deeply and truly. He understands doctrine, listens to the movement of the Holy Spirit, and stands with the people he loves. He also is the guy who steals your shoes, hides your books, tells you “Bryan said you should ring the bell,” and creates funny conflict between all of us. Both of these sides of his personality come out frequently so until you know him it can be easy to miss the depth of his heart, because he really did hide your book. He’s definitely the twinkle in the eye of this community.

Now that you have a brief overview of the amazing people I’m here with you can see have a very culturally diverse group. It’s amazing, and it’s a blessing. There is so much we have to learn from one another. There are so many ways our worldviews can be challenged in healthy, growth inducing ways. Part of reflecting over Orientation is just being thankful for these people. Praying for and with them, and knowing they all of have so much to teach me during our time together.