Last week, the women of our community headed off to the Drakensberg, a beautiful range of mountains southeast of Pretoria. We spent four days hiking, horseback riding, braving ropes courses, and just hanging out. It’s about a 4-hour drive there, and in my car, we passed some of the time by rewriting Christmas songs to make them seasonally appropriate for South African weather. (Christmas decorations are already appearing in grocery stores here, so it’s not like we were working too far ahead.)
We started with “Let It Snow” (“The weather outside is frightful, but the pool is so delightful…”) and just couldn’t stop. By the time we’d reached our destination, we had six completed songs. Titles ranged from the simple “Acacia Tree” to the more ridiculous “Desmond the Hornless Kudu.” At dinner the first night, we performed the songs for the rest of the group, and I shall now share some of the lyrics here, so you can all join in the fun, too…
Acacia Tree
(to the tune of “O Christmas Tree”)
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches
Giraffes, they like to eat your leaves
But kids step on your thorns and bleed
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches
Your silhouette, a symbol yet
For Africa, its best sunset
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches
You look so good, you stab so hard,
I do not want you in my yard
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches
We cut you down and chop you up
To braai our meat and corn-on-the-cob
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches
We mourn your loss at each sunset
But my feet have not healed just yet
Acacia Tree, Acacia Tree,
How thorny are your branches.
White-Hot Christmas
(to the tune of “White Christmas”)
I’m dreaming of a white-hot Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the bodies glisten
And people listen
To Jacaranda on the radio
(All you’ve got to do is turn it on…)
I’m dreaming of a white-hot Christmas
With every postcard that I write
May your beach be sandy and nice
And may all your Christmas meals be braais.
All songs composed thanks to the prodigious talent of: Laura Wardrip, Sarah Woolley, Daleen Ward, and Barbara Hillaker
